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“Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?”
“I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in four months.”

“Why don’t you give your husband a divorce?”
“What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?”

“What do use for washing dishes?”
“Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best.“

We have a quiet home life. I don’t speak to her and she doesn’t speak to me.

“My wife doesn’t know what she wants.”
“You’re lucky. My wife does.”

I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.

“Has there been any insanity in your family?”
“Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he’s the boss.”

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

“Do you think I”ll lose my looks as I get older?”
“Yes if you’re lucky.”

“Look, guide, here are some lion tracks.”
“Good. You see where they go and I’ll find out where they came from.”

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!

But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.

I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls .

“Where did you get those big eyes?”
“They came with the face.”

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.